Fantastic Four Review

So,who wants to see me review a terrible movie, oh I knew you would.

I walked into the film screening expecting very little and that’s more or less what I got. So, let’s begin at the beginning- the start of the film is great. It began with Reed Richards building an interdimensional transporter thingy and him being chastised by his douchebag of a teacher- all pretty well done. The story of his bad stepparents was a bit too cliche for my liking by nonetheless, it’s still decent. Now onto the forming of the group, the way all four (plus Victor Von Doom) is pretty good- apart from Johnny Storm- who’s father essentialy blackmails him into joining. There are, however a few problems with the scripting amd somewhat unnatural. One odd example of this is where Reed and Sue have a light-hearted conversation. Reed says “So you’re adopted then?” and Sue just casually answers it and LAUGHS IT OFF! This is not normal human beings talk! This is an opportunity for some much needed character development, which I’ll get to later.

So, when they travel to ‘Planet Zero’ in the alternate dimension through the teleporter thingy, this primordial planet is made with terrible CGI, but then is still pretty cool. I find the way that they get their specific powers is way more interesting (and logical) than in the comics. At this point,stuff happens to do with the military and the ‘pre-fantastic’ four begin squabbles which could easily be resolved. Also the people are somewhat stupid in their trust of the government, believing that the government will cure and/or let go of their greatest military assets.

So, now is the time for me to get irritated.

MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD!

MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD!

MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD!

MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD!

MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD!

MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD!

MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD!

So now I have to assume that anyone who wants to see this terrible movie, only god knows why you’d want to. After Doom arrivs, for the film, not just the characters. One look at his costume and I wanted to walk out with all the sass that I could muster. Never fear, dear reader for I have persisted. The film only goes downhill from here, the US fall for a simple ploy and Victor is on the loose with god-like powers, which creates some genuinely scary moments but has still shows zero respect for the source material. Then it slowly dawns upon you, what this movie calls a plot is that Doom is sucking up allof arth into ‘Planet Zero’, so that he con ‘rebuild the world as his own’. It’s not like that couldn’t have taken about five minutes for a seven year old to come up with…..The worst is yet to come, what the movie calls a climax takes about five minutes. Leaving me shocked- not because of how amazing the climax was, but just how short it was.

Now we come to the end of the movie and aand although from a cinematography perspective it’s good. It ultimately however, puts two fingers up to the comics and comic fans (yet again). So now, I’ll summise my review.

The film had tons of untapped potential and very little character development, most possible avenues for this were only mentioned in passing and tended to be very cliche.g. the Storms having daddy issues. Most of the film’s problems stem from it being rushed, due to the film being stuck in development hell caused by disagreements between the people creating the film; Josh Trank even said that the final cut was not what he wanted from the movie. This whole situation was unfortunate because I would’ve loved to have seen what this film was meant to be, after seeing the first half of the movie and finding it amazing. If the second half was as good as the first the movie would be an eight (probably) but I’m afraid this movie must get a fantastic four.

Pros:

Great soundtrack,great build-up,interesting gaining of powers

Cons:

Little to no character development, Doom had a terrible costume, weak scripting, dodgy CGI- in parts, puts two fingers up to the source material, 90 minutes is far too short,rushed, terrible climax.

Final score: An anything but fantastic four.

5 (+ 1 extra) stupidest movie plot twists

Plot twists in movies can be good, surprising and add so much to a movie but can go terribly if executed badly. These plot twists are evidence of this.

plot_twists

Signs(2002)-

So we start with a mediocre movie from a director who uses plot twists in his movie more frequently than journalists use words. Aliens allergic to water. So random. So unnecessary.3 So M.Night Shamylan. He obviously made this as a weird way to defeat somewhat invincible enemies. It’s like a discount version of the War of the Worlds ending which was too realistic for it’s own good whereas this is a copy of that without the scientific logic.

signs foil hat

The life of David Gale(2003)-

David Gale frames himself for the rape and murder of his friend to prove fallibility of the death penalty when he could’ve brought evidence to prove that he was framed to prove his point.

david gale

Safe Haven(2013)-

The best friend of the protagonist , offering romantic advice for said protagonist is actually the lover of the protagonist’s dead wife who is making sure that the protagonist is the right woman for her former (still-living) husband who is the protagonist’s lover  . There is no reason for this to exist. WHY!?!?!?!

safe haven beach

Indiana Jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull(2008)-

Then the aforementioned Skull turned out to belong to aliens worshipped by the Mayans as Gods and the antagonist places the skull on a statue and ‘communicates with the alien beings’ and disintegrates- opening an inter-dimensional portal for the aliens to return to their homeland. I think. Who knows? So many people have watched this movie. I’ve watched it several times in several years and still don’t understand. How did this ending get green-lighted? I guess the better question is, how did this entire movie get green-lighted?

indiana jones crystal skull

The forgotten (2004)- This terrible movie is about a grieving mother where  the plot is that the woman’s child is disappears in a plane crash but she is told that she ‘imagined’ her son!. It then conspires that aliens took her son! It’s like Gerald di Pego (the writer) decided to combine two different movies.

the forgotten

So here are the five stupidest movie plot twists-according to me? What do you think? Tell me in the comments and don’t forget to share this article with your friends if you think that it’s any good.

Plot twist! The monarchy, the president, the supreme leader of your country commands you to share this!